Pizza at Broders' Cucina Italiana..

Every few months I get this bizzare rumble somewhere between my brain and my stomach that can only be wrestled into submission by one thing... a kick-ass, greasy slice of sausage pizza from Broders' Cucina Italiana.
Now, I realize that pizza by the slice is a very controversial topic for many Minneapolitans, both native and expatriate alike. One argument can be made that there is NO authentic, East-Coast-Style pizza anywhere near the Twin Cities. I believe that there are a SELECT few slice-slangers in town who's pizza could be awarded the honor of being considered good "East Coast" style, but of course, mostly due to their GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION!!!, they can never be easily classified as such.
By now you're probably asking the question, "All right you midwestern asshole, if you know so much, then what makes pizza "East Coast"-ish???" Well, lemme break it down for you...

((in order of importance.))

1. Size to Cost Ratio - When i get a plain slice in New York City, even if it's shit it should always cost UNDER $4, and it should be bigger than my head. Seems to me, a few 'gourmet' or 'new york style' places around town tend to be less than generous with the size of their slices. I don't want two, i want one that's as big as two, thank you very much. In my opinion, pizzas should NEVER be made smaller than 16", and should never be cut into more than 8 slices if they're gonna be doled out under the heat lamp...

2. There are only a few appropriate varieties of pizza by the slice... The most important of which is... PLAIN. And that's plain as in 'cheese' for us midwesterners. Pepperoni or sausage are also acceptable. However, 'Veggie' or 'Meat' are bullshit and should be abolished. Perhaps, for the sake of my vegetarian friends, we could allow a vegetarian pizza with NO MORE THAN 3 TOPPINGS!!! Too many toppings on a pizza kills the crust, and distracts you from the flavors of the basic ingredients... Dough, Cheese, and Sauce. I can't stress how important this is... Pizza by the slice should have the LEAST amount of toppings whilst maintaining it's kick-ass-ness.

3. Crust. The literal foundation of a great slice of pizza. A good, 'east coast' style crust should be snappy, a little crisp on the bottom, and for god's sake, THIN!! If you want a half pound hunk of uncooked dough underneath your cheese and sauce, move to Chicago!! Not in my back yard!!! Fo' REAL!!!

Now, with that in mind, look in your wallet/purse and see if you have $4.17 (plus tip). If you do, proceed to the northwest corner of 50th St. S. and Penn Ave. S., there is a small lot in back but i always park on the street. Use the new entrance (not too thrilled about this...), go up to the counter and simply ask for a slice of pizza. Historically, I usually have them heat it up and i eat it right away in my car, but if you prefer to eat like an adult, you can sit down at one of their cafe tables of bring it home to reheat. Like I mentioned before, i believe the most sincere gauge of a pizzeria's slices is the 'plain(cheese) slice,' but i will say that Broders' ingredients are top shelf. The pepperoni especially. It has more of a skunky, authentic flavor characteristic of good Italian cured meats. The sausage is also bangin'. Extra finely ground and full of fennel and grease... amazing...
Hopefully you will have left the chair in front of your computer spinning by now, in pursuit of a south Minneapolis delicacy, but in case your still reading, here are a few more things to keep in mind...
If you're not in the mood for pizza, i recommend their 'South Jersey Hoagie'($7.50) or as i like to call it, the 'quadruple bypass inducer...' You guessed it, salami, capicola, onion, lettuce, tomato, vin, and provolone... Warm, salty goodness. For the most comfortable of comfort binges...
If you are planning ahead, do yourself a favor and retrieve a bottle of their olive oil... Very rich flavor and only $7.50, much better than what you'd get at Lunds or Kowalskis for that price. They have some other more expensive opitions, but i've never really subscribed to over-paying for olive oil... While I'm sure it can be worth it, it just never seems to fit into a budget that also contains good, fresh meats and veg... Spend your money on a piece of fish, or some heirloom tomatoes, not the olive oil. They also carry a small selection of vinegars, dried pastas, rice, cheese, olives, etc. I'm pretty sure i saw Vialone Nano (really high-end rice for risottos) there once, and they usually have bulk pignoles, dried wild mushrooms, various other gourmet ingredients.
If you're in a pinch for a dessert, you can also pick up various tarts, cookies, tiramisu, biscottis and cannolis for CHEAP...
While Broders' is 1,200 miles from Famous Joe's in Greenwich Villiage, i feel confident in saying that Broders' thin crust slices may teach even the most finicky New York Pizza aficionados how to spot Minneapolis on a map...